The universe and everything. Hi folks. I'm going to be a little slow replying to comments this week because I'm getting married on Saturday!!! I'm writing some posts to schedule though so you will be seeing those. Here is a question for you all though, I'd really appreciate your opinions.
I have always been adamant that I wouldn't change my name. In this day and age I don't see why I should. Changing your name was originally a sign of ownership, you were given to another man by your father and took his name to show you belonged to him. Obviously this is not the case for me but something about it jars with me.
On top of that I feel that my name is, well, my name. Mrs ****** is his mother. I've always said I'd consider it in future but as we aren't having kids I don't think it really matters. What matters is that we are married and love each other. End of.
Or it was until a couple of days ago. He says that he will support me whatever I decide but I know that really he would like me to. The only reasons that I would is a. because it would make him happy and b. it would make life easier at work as I work for the family business and I have to work twice as hard to get twice the recognition because of my surname.
Whenever I ask otherwise staunchly feminist women why they changed theirs they just say 'because it was just nice'. That isn't an argument. It's a cop out. I need a reason to do it. I'm more open to the idea than ever but 'because it's nice' isn't enough for me to back out on what I've believed for a very long time.
So ladies what are your views on this? If you're married did you change your name or not? Makeup related post coming soon I promise :-) xxx
I changed mine, but I know a couple of friends who felt more strongly about it who both became double-barrelled (husband and wife). I had and continue to have nothing but positive feelings about joining my husband's family because they're lovely, whereas mine can be a total pain, especially on my dad's side!
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting Grace. There isn't a form in the world with a little box big enough for our names double barrelled lol. And I get on very well with my family whereas his mother thinks I am the devil incarnate... It's definitly a tough decision x
ReplyDeleteI changed my name, although its taken me a long time to get used to it (and there are some things I still haven't changed like my passport, because you have to pay!) Our names sounded ridiculous double-barrelled, so that was never an option. Although I miss my 'old' name, I feel like I'm forging a new identity with my 'new' name. And it wasn't so much about changing names to show how I was leaving my family and joining his, but about how we were making a new family together with each other and I felt we should have the same name to do that. Although there's no kids on the horizon for a while, when we do have children I feel quite strongly that we (me, hubbie and the kids) all have the same name. But its such a difficult thing to decide on! Please don't let feelings towards or from either of your families interfere with your decision, its for you and your husband to work out together. x
ReplyDeletei'm not married but i think i would change my name because even without kids it symbolises your own little family. plus a lot of people will probably call you that anyway!!
ReplyDeletehope you have a lovely day anyway and a lovely life together!
xx
I changed my name with no thinking twice really, double barelled would have sounded weird, half Welsh and half Corsican..
ReplyDeleteI just feel like with my husband we are a family of our own, that's why I took his name. However, there's nothing wrong with keeping your own name, and it's much easier paperwork wise lol -- and you get to keep your signature and not have to learn to do a new one.
All the best wishes of happiness to you and your future "hubby" x
Keep your name, or at least for now. you could always change it later on if you felt differently, but it would be harder to change back! lol
ReplyDeleteyou're your own person with your own name and you don't "belong" to anyone. women aren't pets. give your cat his surname instead.